There he was, flowers in his hands, a glow in his heart, warmth
he couldn’t explain, a determination to create something from the little his
hands could find for the last couple of years, and a hope that fate would smile
on him just this once. He wondered how he would voice his thoughts, what words
he would say that could sum up the last two years, how he would speak the
words, and how he could string them to predict the next fifty years. It was too
late to think! He had watched that scenario in his mind’s eye, and had
practiced like the child he knew he could sometimes be. This was it. He had it
all planned out… he would be on one knee while she stood elegant and beautiful
as always, he would carry with him the ring that best tries to paint her beauty
and wrap it with all the love and care his heart had to offer. The moon would
be somewhere above her head playing the strings of his heart in a romantic tune.
He figured she didn’t have to do anything. Just to say the words that would set
him free and send him soaring high into the clouds, the words that would rock
him to sleep and wake him up with a smile, the words that would bear him
witness before the entire world that there was someone made for him after all.
Someone who loved him, who didn’t want anything more than what he had to offer,
with the same glow in her heart, and warmth she too could not explain. He had
it all planned out, and he knew the outcome… or so he thought. For him, “Yes”
was the word of the day, “would you marry me?” was the question of the hour.
And when he paused, waiting for the hysterically spoken answer that would send
the crowd cheering, he heard the word that he thought never existed, or was at
least scrapped out from the dictionary for a day… “No!” And just to add salt to
his open wounds, “I’m sorry, but you should have seen this coming, you and me?
We’re just not ‘it’”.
Whoa! Ladies and gentlemen, that is undoubtedly the most
depressing thing I’ve ever made my hands write. I know a few rejection stories,
and I’m gonna be telling you a few in a short while, but for me, nothing paints
the picture like this sad man’s situation. Some of these people come really
close, but there’s a place we’re heading to, and this man is just where we want
him to be (more like ‘she wants him to be’. Hahaha)
I have come to discover the truth about rejection. It is
more often than not a choice heavily laden with sadness, sorrow, depression, anxiety,
fear, doubt, and just that pain in your gut that leaves you thinking “why the
hell did I even try?” It drops like a bomb, scattering and tearing apart all
around it. Although mostly inadvertently and thoughtlessly dropped, it finds
its way to your heart to make it ache a little bit more, and radiates to your
mind to make it numb. One explosion from the bomb of rejection and its rare
composition of sadness, sorrow, depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, and
pain are scattered all over its victims. At this point, it is nothing more than
a seed; a seed waiting for the opportune moment to yield its ugly fruits. Little
wonder people jump in front of a moving train or from some story building in
Shanghai. No wonder they are locked in their rooms for days staring hard at the
knife at the table or some bottle of liquid labeled “X”, both of which are
starting to look real friendly. Somehow, the rejection bomb was dropped on them,
and all the rest of the world could see was its ugly fruits in the front page
of the newspapers. And as an added measure, hotel windows don’t open anymore
(like that’s helping someone).
The bomb is dropped every day. It falls right beside you and
right beside me. It falls right in front of you and right in front of me. It
falls on you and on me. Basically, it falls all around us. And boy when it
falls, there is a sound so loud and a feeling so strong! And at the end, we’re
left with nothing but a choice. Is that so hard to believe? Colonel Sanders
felt the bomb drop when the KFC dream was rejected 1009 times. Walt Disney felt
the bomb drop when he was told he lacked imagination, and was rejected some 302
times. Vincent Van Goph felt the bomb drop; he sold only one painting in his
lifetime and he painted over 800 pieces (doesn’t add up if you ask me). Theodor
Seuss Giesel’s children’s book To Think
That I Saw It on Mulberry Street was rejected by 27 different publishers; he
felt the bomb drop 27 times! John Grisham felt the bomb drop; his book A Time to Kill was rejected some 28
times. Steven Spielberg felt the bomb drop; he was rejected twice by the
prestigious University of Southern California Film School. Stephen King felt
the bomb drop, and boy did he cave! His first book Carrie was rejected some 30 times and when the seeds fell, he threw
his manuscript in the trash can. Stephanie Meyer felt the bomb drop. She wrote 15
agent query letters, 5 didn’t reply, and 9 were rejected. Tim Ferris felt the
bomb drop. His work was rejected 26 times. And my personal favorite J.K.
Rowling had her manuscript rejected by 12 publishers.
I can’t begin to imagine how they felt in the middle of it
all. A 65-year old man was rejected 1009 times! That’s torture if you ask me.
But I can picture our guy, kneeling before the love of his life and she saying
no to his proposal. That has got to leave a mark! But I can liken the feeling
he has afterwards to those of the people mentioned above. Those weren’t their
first failures or rejections. They had battled with a lot before that, and just
when they couldn’t handle another one, bomb after bomb of rejection kept
dropping in on them. It pushed them to the wall, almost crushing them (Stephen
King would know). At each stage it sent its ugly seeds into their hearts and
minds hoping they would eventually cave. Would you blame them if they did?
There they were being told they weren’t good enough, that they lacked
imagination, that they were too old to chase their dreams, that their time had
elapsed, that they didn’t possess the face of successful people, that they
didn’t have what it takes to be a success, that it was a waste of time doing
what they did. People looked at them and just didn’t see any potential in them
or their work. I know… I know rejection sucks. But does it end there? Does it
end with them on top of a building ready to jump? Does it leave them on their
beds sobbing while their manuscript is laying somewhere in the trash? Does it leave
them staring at the bottom end of the bottle? Does it leave them homeless,
living in their cars and begging on the streets?
I’ll tell you how it ends - My personal favorite J.K.
Rowling (writer of the Harry Potter series) did become a published writer… the
13th publisher listened! Now any publisher would beg to publish a
letter written by her. Colonel Sanders (founder of KFC) started at 65! I bet
his chickens taste delicious! Walt Disney (founder of Disney World and the
famous Mickey Mouse) did have more than just a wild imagination, his dream lives
on even after his death. Want a Vincent Van Goph Painting? Well, too bad they
cost a fortune to get now even though he sold only one in his lifetime; his most
expensive is valued at $142.7 million. John Grisham has sold over 250 million
copies (and counting) of his book. I love me a Steven Spielberg movie! He has
directed some of the best blockbuster movies in history, worth 2.7 billion and
in 1994, received an honorary degree from the film school that rejected him
twice! Manuscript in the trash can? Run back and pick it up! Stephen King’s
wife did and now, he has sold over 350 million copies! Twilight Series (I bet
you like it too). Well, 15 letters were sent, 9 were rejected, and 5 didn’t
reply. One did! Tim Ferris published that book 4 hour workweek after 26 rejections!
So what’s your rejection story? I was rejected by only one
publisher and felt like folding up, but to think that Colonel Sanders (65 years
old at the time by the way) tried 1009 times and dared to try 1 more time! How
dare I give up?! Rejection leaves more than just feelings of depression,
sadness, doubt, anger, fear and anxiety. It also leaves a choice; a choice to
either bounce back off the wall or be crushed; a choice to set your sights far
into the future or leave it staring at the bottom end of the bottle; a choice to
strive harder to achieve your dreams or let those feelings blur your vision; a
choice to see your strengths and find those potentials you didn’t even know you
had, or give your weaknesses a voice and let them send you to an early grave. I
know sometimes our situations look and feel hopeless, but that’s just because rejection
comes with a default pick. It is now our responsibility to demand our options.
Believe it or not, there’s one that would announce you as a celebrity.
Rejection isn’t really the bad guy (please don’t beat me up). Rather, it was
the secret ingredient that formed every single one of these rags to riches
stories.
J.K. Rowling said: “You might never fail on the scale that I
did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live
so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you
fail by default”. Those words inspire me. Who better to tell me than someone
who was rejected 12 times and still has a gorgeous smile?
We can make it work. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or
how old we are. I believe every man is just one small adjustment from making
life work. Rejection sure is some bump on the way to success, but think of it
more like a spring; it’s gonna launch you higher into the skies than you
initially planned. So to tell you the honest truth, I don’t wanna imagine a
world without J.K Rowling, or one without a Steven Spielberg movie. I don’t
want to imagine a world where you and I aren’t mentioned because we caved in.
And by the way, if I were that guy, and the lady comes to
propose to me six months later, I’d say no ,just to keep things interesting
*winks*.
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