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Success Ville: How We See Rejection

    There he was, flowers in his hands, a glow in his heart, warmth he couldn’t explain, a determination to create something from the little his hands could find for the last couple of years, and a hope that fate would smile on him just this once. He wondered how he would voice his thoughts, what words he would say that could sum up the last two years, how he would speak the words, and how he could string them to predict the next fifty years. It was too late to think! He had watched that scenario in his mind’s eye, and had practiced like the child he knew he could sometimes be. This was it. He had it all planned out… he would be on one knee while she stood elegant and beautiful as always, he would carry with him the ring that best tries to paint her beauty and wrap it with all the love and care his heart had to offer. The moon would be somewhere above her head playing the strings of his heart in a romantic tune. He figured she didn’t have to do anything. Just to say the words that would set him free and send him soaring high into the clouds, the words that would rock him to sleep and wake him up with a smile, the words that would bear him witness before the entire world that there was someone made for him after all. Someone who loved him, who didn’t want anything more than what he had to offer, with the same glow in her heart, and warmth she too could not explain. He had it all planned out, and he knew the outcome… or so he thought. For him, “Yes” was the word of the day, “would you marry me?” was the question of the hour. And when he paused, waiting for the hysterically spoken answer that would send the crowd cheering, he heard the word that he thought never existed, or was at least scrapped out from the dictionary for a day… “No!” And just to add salt to his open wounds, “I’m sorry, but you should have seen this coming, you and me? We’re just not ‘it’”. 
           Whoa! Ladies and gentlemen, that is undoubtedly the most depressing thing I’ve ever made my hands write. I know a few rejection stories, and I’m gonna be telling you a few in a short while, but for me, nothing paints the picture like this sad man’s situation. Some of these people come really close, but there’s a place we’re heading to, and this man is just where we want him to be (more like ‘she wants him to be’. Hahaha)
I have come to discover the truth about rejection. It is more often than not a choice heavily laden with sadness, sorrow, depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, and just that pain in your gut that leaves you thinking “why the hell did I even try?” It drops like a bomb, scattering and tearing apart all around it. Although mostly inadvertently and thoughtlessly dropped, it finds its way to your heart to make it ache a little bit more, and radiates to your mind to make it numb. One explosion from the bomb of rejection and its rare composition of sadness, sorrow, depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, and pain are scattered all over its victims. At this point, it is nothing more than a seed; a seed waiting for the opportune moment to yield its ugly fruits. Little wonder people jump in front of a moving train or from some story building in Shanghai. No wonder they are locked in their rooms for days staring hard at the knife at the table or some bottle of liquid labeled “X”, both of which are starting to look real friendly. Somehow, the rejection bomb was dropped on them, and all the rest of the world could see was its ugly fruits in the front page of the newspapers. And as an added measure, hotel windows don’t open anymore (like that’s helping someone).
        The bomb is dropped every day. It falls right beside you and right beside me. It falls right in front of you and right in front of me. It falls on you and on me. Basically, it falls all around us. And boy when it falls, there is a sound so loud and a feeling so strong! And at the end, we’re left with nothing but a choice. Is that so hard to believe? Colonel Sanders felt the bomb drop when the KFC dream was rejected 1009 times. Walt Disney felt the bomb drop when he was told he lacked imagination, and was rejected some 302 times. Vincent Van Goph felt the bomb drop; he sold only one painting in his lifetime and he painted over 800 pieces (doesn’t add up if you ask me). Theodor Seuss Giesel’s children’s book To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street was rejected by 27 different publishers; he felt the bomb drop 27 times! John Grisham felt the bomb drop; his book A Time to Kill was rejected some 28 times. Steven Spielberg felt the bomb drop; he was rejected twice by the prestigious University of Southern California Film School. Stephen King felt the bomb drop, and boy did he cave! His first book Carrie was rejected some 30 times and when the seeds fell, he threw his manuscript in the trash can. Stephanie Meyer felt the bomb drop. She wrote 15 agent query letters, 5 didn’t reply, and 9 were rejected. Tim Ferris felt the bomb drop. His work was rejected 26 times. And my personal favorite J.K. Rowling had her manuscript rejected by 12 publishers.
               I can’t begin to imagine how they felt in the middle of it all. A 65-year old man was rejected 1009 times! That’s torture if you ask me. But I can picture our guy, kneeling before the love of his life and she saying no to his proposal. That has got to leave a mark! But I can liken the feeling he has afterwards to those of the people mentioned above. Those weren’t their first failures or rejections. They had battled with a lot before that, and just when they couldn’t handle another one, bomb after bomb of rejection kept dropping in on them. It pushed them to the wall, almost crushing them (Stephen King would know). At each stage it sent its ugly seeds into their hearts and minds hoping they would eventually cave. Would you blame them if they did? There they were being told they weren’t good enough, that they lacked imagination, that they were too old to chase their dreams, that their time had elapsed, that they didn’t possess the face of successful people, that they didn’t have what it takes to be a success, that it was a waste of time doing what they did. People looked at them and just didn’t see any potential in them or their work. I know… I know rejection sucks. But does it end there? Does it end with them on top of a building ready to jump? Does it leave them on their beds sobbing while their manuscript is laying somewhere in the trash? Does it leave them staring at the bottom end of the bottle? Does it leave them homeless, living in their cars and begging on the streets?
            I’ll tell you how it ends - My personal favorite J.K. Rowling (writer of the Harry Potter series) did become a published writer… the 13th publisher listened! Now any publisher would beg to publish a letter written by her. Colonel Sanders (founder of KFC) started at 65! I bet his chickens taste delicious! Walt Disney (founder of Disney World and the famous Mickey Mouse) did have more than just a wild imagination, his dream lives on even after his death. Want a Vincent Van Goph Painting? Well, too bad they cost a fortune to get now even though he sold only one in his lifetime; his most expensive is valued at $142.7 million. John Grisham has sold over 250 million copies (and counting) of his book. I love me a Steven Spielberg movie! He has directed some of the best blockbuster movies in history, worth 2.7 billion and in 1994, received an honorary degree from the film school that rejected him twice! Manuscript in the trash can? Run back and pick it up! Stephen King’s wife did and now, he has sold over 350 million copies! Twilight Series (I bet you like it too). Well, 15 letters were sent, 9 were rejected, and 5 didn’t reply. One did! Tim Ferris published that book 4 hour workweek after 26 rejections!
           So what’s your rejection story? I was rejected by only one publisher and felt like folding up, but to think that Colonel Sanders (65 years old at the time by the way) tried 1009 times and dared to try 1 more time! How dare I give up?! Rejection leaves more than just feelings of depression, sadness, doubt, anger, fear and anxiety. It also leaves a choice; a choice to either bounce back off the wall or be crushed; a choice to set your sights far into the future or leave it staring at the bottom end of the bottle; a choice to strive harder to achieve your dreams or let those feelings blur your vision; a choice to see your strengths and find those potentials you didn’t even know you had, or give your weaknesses a voice and let them send you to an early grave. I know sometimes our situations look and feel hopeless, but that’s just because rejection comes with a default pick. It is now our responsibility to demand our options. Believe it or not, there’s one that would announce you as a celebrity. Rejection isn’t really the bad guy (please don’t beat me up). Rather, it was the secret ingredient that formed every single one of these rags to riches stories.
          J.K. Rowling said: “You might never fail on the scale that I did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default”. Those words inspire me. Who better to tell me than someone who was rejected 12 times and still has a gorgeous smile?
          We can make it work. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how old we are. I believe every man is just one small adjustment from making life work. Rejection sure is some bump on the way to success, but think of it more like a spring; it’s gonna launch you higher into the skies than you initially planned. So to tell you the honest truth, I don’t wanna imagine a world without J.K Rowling, or one without a Steven Spielberg movie. I don’t want to imagine a world where you and I aren’t mentioned because we caved in.
           And by the way, if I were that guy, and the lady comes to propose to me six months later, I’d say no ,just to keep things interesting *winks*.

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