The bonds of friendship cannot be explained, it goes deeper than just being there for one another as we often define it to be. I have a deep desire to talk about friendship because it is such an abstract bond, one which I only imagine when I am lonely, one I only think about when I really need to, one which I dream of becoming everyday to the people in my life.
What is friendship? It is defined as the mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behavior that typify relationships between friends. Taking this definition piece by piece and really appreciating its true meaning would require more than just a blog; it would require a lifetime experience, not one you read in books, but one only you can feel in your heart. But I would try.
The whole concept of trust is one which to a large extent has been neglected. Our families are broken, our relationships with the people we love are being severed by ‘you don’t trust me and I certainly don’t trust you’ kind of thinking. But first of all, what is trust? Trust is defined as confidence in and reliance on good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor, or ability. Again, before expanding on trust, we have to shift to truth, honor, fairness and ability. These are all words which have meanings themselves but are used to define trust which is in turn used to define friendship. But these characters or attributes are ones we should possess in our lives no matter the cost, no matter the consequences. These of course are not easy characters to build but are certainly possible if we put our minds and hearts to it.
Back to trust, it is simply confidence put in something and in our case someone. Trust is the foundation to make any friendship work. I cannot be your friend when you really can’t turn your back without being afraid that I might stab you; or leave your house knowing that your property is in safe hands. But we really can’t blame people when they don’t trust us because we often do to them what they are afraid of. From the definition of trust above, for someone to truly have confidence in us, we must possess truth, the concept of honor, fairness and ability. Only when we have proven ourselves in these areas can we truly be trusted.
Furthermore, affection is fond or tender feeling toward somebody or something. To be your friend, I must have affection for you. Otherwise I would be a hypocrite, pretending to be your friend when all I really want is your downfall, when all I really am is your worst enemy.
Now, to finally hit the nail on the head, friendship is a concept which when fully understood can be a very powerful tool for saving our souls and making life worth living. Assuming we have friends who possess all these qualities, we would find life quite an adventure. Can you sincerely say you’ve been a friend to the people you care about? Or does it all depend on how good the going is? Good friendship is mutual, it’s not one-sided. A perfect example of good friendship, one we should emulate is the friendship between Jonathan and David. Even the bible puts it that the love they shared superseded the love a man had for a woman. It’s so rare that no such friendship was ever mentioned again. If I were to strip their friendship bare, they both possessed every quality a friend should possess. It’s a privilege to have such friendship. In the course of time, their friendship outlived their generation even to the next as David showed great kindness to Jonathan’s son.
I regretfully announce that such friendship rarely exists partly because the world just gets rotten everyday and partly because we are just selfish and don’t want to lose a part of ourselves in making friendship work. It’s a good thing that you are reading this and that you can breathe, because you too can have the kind of friendship David and Jonathan had. The golden rule comes into play here in trying to find a friend, a true friend. Whenever I need a friend, I just need to be a friend. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. If I want my friends to trust me, I’d have to trust them; if I want them to love me, I’d have to love them; if I want them to tell me the truth, I’d have to learn to tell them the truth even when it’s not easy to. Friendship can be found everywhere, it can be formed anywhere. Between God and man, siblings, husband and wife, and virtually anyone. I’m not going to talk about how to get friends or who to keep as friends. But when you do get those right, then you should a friend to them and hopefully, they would be a friend to you. You can learn a lot from the friendship of David and Jonathan.
What is friendship? It is defined as the mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behavior that typify relationships between friends. Taking this definition piece by piece and really appreciating its true meaning would require more than just a blog; it would require a lifetime experience, not one you read in books, but one only you can feel in your heart. But I would try.
The whole concept of trust is one which to a large extent has been neglected. Our families are broken, our relationships with the people we love are being severed by ‘you don’t trust me and I certainly don’t trust you’ kind of thinking. But first of all, what is trust? Trust is defined as confidence in and reliance on good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor, or ability. Again, before expanding on trust, we have to shift to truth, honor, fairness and ability. These are all words which have meanings themselves but are used to define trust which is in turn used to define friendship. But these characters or attributes are ones we should possess in our lives no matter the cost, no matter the consequences. These of course are not easy characters to build but are certainly possible if we put our minds and hearts to it.
Back to trust, it is simply confidence put in something and in our case someone. Trust is the foundation to make any friendship work. I cannot be your friend when you really can’t turn your back without being afraid that I might stab you; or leave your house knowing that your property is in safe hands. But we really can’t blame people when they don’t trust us because we often do to them what they are afraid of. From the definition of trust above, for someone to truly have confidence in us, we must possess truth, the concept of honor, fairness and ability. Only when we have proven ourselves in these areas can we truly be trusted.
Furthermore, affection is fond or tender feeling toward somebody or something. To be your friend, I must have affection for you. Otherwise I would be a hypocrite, pretending to be your friend when all I really want is your downfall, when all I really am is your worst enemy.
Now, to finally hit the nail on the head, friendship is a concept which when fully understood can be a very powerful tool for saving our souls and making life worth living. Assuming we have friends who possess all these qualities, we would find life quite an adventure. Can you sincerely say you’ve been a friend to the people you care about? Or does it all depend on how good the going is? Good friendship is mutual, it’s not one-sided. A perfect example of good friendship, one we should emulate is the friendship between Jonathan and David. Even the bible puts it that the love they shared superseded the love a man had for a woman. It’s so rare that no such friendship was ever mentioned again. If I were to strip their friendship bare, they both possessed every quality a friend should possess. It’s a privilege to have such friendship. In the course of time, their friendship outlived their generation even to the next as David showed great kindness to Jonathan’s son.
I regretfully announce that such friendship rarely exists partly because the world just gets rotten everyday and partly because we are just selfish and don’t want to lose a part of ourselves in making friendship work. It’s a good thing that you are reading this and that you can breathe, because you too can have the kind of friendship David and Jonathan had. The golden rule comes into play here in trying to find a friend, a true friend. Whenever I need a friend, I just need to be a friend. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. If I want my friends to trust me, I’d have to trust them; if I want them to love me, I’d have to love them; if I want them to tell me the truth, I’d have to learn to tell them the truth even when it’s not easy to. Friendship can be found everywhere, it can be formed anywhere. Between God and man, siblings, husband and wife, and virtually anyone. I’m not going to talk about how to get friends or who to keep as friends. But when you do get those right, then you should a friend to them and hopefully, they would be a friend to you. You can learn a lot from the friendship of David and Jonathan.
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